Burn the Boats

By Caleb Bagdanov
Director of Student Ministries

About once a year I find myself reading a short essay written by C.S. Lewis called “A Slip of the Tongue.” In this essay Lewis reflects on how during a morning devotional he made a mistake while praying. He prayed “to pass through things eternal that I finally lost not the things temporal” when he had meant to pray “to pass through things temporal that I finally lost not the things eternal.” [1] It was a slip of the tongue, an accident, easy enough to brush off and keep moving. However, Lewis believed this particular slip revealed a truth about his heart that needed further examination. He describes it like this,

“I say my prayers, I read a book of devotion, I prepare for, or receive, the Sacrament. But while I do these things, there is, so to speak, a voice inside me that urges caution. It tells me to be careful, to keep my head, not to go too far, not to burn my boats. I come into the presence of God with a great fear lest anything should happen to me within that presence which will prove too intolerably inconvenient when I have come out again into my ordinary life.” [2]

Each time I read this I cringe. I know that voice all too well. It is the voice inside my head that helps me find fault in how the worship music sounds instead of letting my heart be drawn into true worship. The voice that helps me identify the perfect application of the sermon for my neighbor’s life but says nothing of what it means for me. The voice that assures me that I am far too busy to help when there is a call to serve in our community. I like to think it is the voice of reason or logic, but really it is the voice of fear. Fear that God really does want to transform my life. That Jesus was serious when he said if I want to find my life, I will need to lose it. Fear that to be raised with Christ I need to be crucified with Christ, and that means putting to death my pride and selfishness.

It is not easy to admit that I have this fear, but I think it is one many of us share. We hesitate to fully surrender to God. We want the benefits of his presence without letting go of our comfort and control. We like the idea of faith but are afraid of where true transformation might take us. Lewis describes this dynamic with an illustration, “This is my endlessly recurrent temptation: to go down to that Sea (I think St. John of the Cross called God a sea) and there neither dive nor swim nor float, but only dabble and splash, careful not to get out of my depth and holding on to the lifeline which connects me with my things temporal.” [3]

We approach God with caution. This cautious approach keeps us safe, but stagnant. When God is kept at arm’s length, we feel comfortable, but we were not made for complacency. When we resist going “out of our depth” in fear that God’s plans may disrupt our own, we end up keeping ourselves from the fulness of life that God wants us to experience with him. God does not call us to dabble in faith; He calls us to dive into him. His call is to cut our lifelines to things temporal. On offer is eternal life rich in joy, meaning, and purpose, but we cannot receive the eternal things of God if our hands are clenched in fear around temporal things.

So how do we overcome this fear? Here are three ways to take small but meaningful steps:

Be honest with God. Bring your fears and hesitations to God in prayer. He understands our struggles and invites us to voice them.
Commit to community. Join a LifeGroup. If you are already part of a LifeGroup, be honest about what holds you back from full surrender. Community gives us courage.
Take one step at a time. Start with one small act of surrender, like setting aside more time for prayer or service. Each step builds trust and brings us closer to God.

So, let’s burn our boats and walk step by step further up and further into surrender and trust in God. Believing that when we do, God is faithful, and his promises are true. Let us not settle for splashing in the shallows of faith—let’s dive in, trusting that God’s plans are better than anything we want to hold onto.

Caleb

[1] Lewis, C.S. 2001. A Slip of the Tongue. In The Weight of Glory, 184–92. New York: HarperOne.

[2] Lewis, 2001

[3] Lewis, 2001